A DAY IN TOWN WITH GRACE
Most Saturdays Rudy goes to town for food, sending e-mails, checking the post office, etc. A friend of ours named Steve Wood (www.dads.org) says that the way to build strong relationships with your children is to include them in your lives. It doesn't have to be all-expenses paid trips to Disneyland; trips to the hardware store and the trash dump will fit the bill and give them fond memories for years to come. Consequently, I usually take one of the two older girls with me on these excursions. On Saturday March 6th, it was Grace's turn.

I asked her the night before if she wanted to go with me, and she said she did. I then told her she needed to get up right away when I woke her up, because we needed to get out in front of the school for transportation. When I woke her up in the morning, she went right to getting dressed, visiting the bathroom, etc. without a complaint.

We got to the bus stop in good time, waited 5 minutes, and Mr. Stan Mamba (our human version of a top-of-the-line Leatherman tool-he can do anything) came by. He is improving his teaching credentials and needs to go to Matsapha (where the University is) most Saturday mornings. He stopped and let us climb in. (Folks who really believe in car seats, close your eyes!) Grace sat on my lap between me and the dashboard, and Mamba and I had a nice conversation. Grace was pleasant and patient, given that the conversation topics (water system, pickup truck auctions, what to do about stray dogs inside the school grounds) didn't address her interests. Mamba dropped us at the highway on-ramp and continued his journey. Before he had pulled away, a kombi headed for Mbabane appeared. After trying unsuccessfully to give Mamba some money for gas, we jumped into the kombi.

Grace and I visited the grocery store first, on the assumption that the crowds would be small at 8:30AM and we might get back home at a decent hour if we didn't have to spend a long time in the checkout line. We left the backpack at a "parcel hut", a place where you pay E5 and can leave the bag in a secure room until you come back for it. We then visited the church, the stationery shop, the garden shop, and the Mbabane Clinic where Ruth will deliver Chipmunk. We put down a E6500 (about $900) deposit for the delivery, and if our expenses fall below that amount, they give us back the change. How's that for simple and effective health care?

After that we visited Metro (Mbabane's version of Sam's Club), where we got some bulk food items. We then checked into the internet cafe for an hour and after that, made a last-minute scramble for ground beef and a bus. We planned a team dinner for the soccer team (more below), and I needed meat for the chili. It turned out that Shining Star bus was leaving for Dlangeni at noon, and the engine was already running. I told the conductor that we wanted to ride it, but that I needed to get my bag from the parcel hut and buy some meat at the butchery 30 yards from the bus. He said they'd hold the bus. Grace sat at the back of the bus (the added pressure of knowing the bus might possibly leave with my kid on it kept me hopping) while I got the last 2 items. An hour and a half later, we were home.

What's the point of this story? The point is, the time was well spent because it was spent with Grace. We had lots of good conversation, and she even got a drink box of vanilla custard to slake her thirst and as a token of my appreciation for her company and good behavior. Steve Wood is right: you can build a good relationship with your child by simply bringing them along with you on your errands. Grace and I had a great time, and the long-term effect of our Saturday morning together will be a better relationship for the rest of our lives. If you have children still in the home, or even children who have left home but come back now and then, take them with you on your next errands-run and see what it can do for your relationship.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES
As we approached Ezulwini with Mamba, we saw a large collection of parked cars off to the right. As our conversation had been on car auctions, I wondered if some Saturday morning used car sale was underway. Mamba spoke up and said "Looks like there was a funeral". Usually, funeral vigils are on Saturday nights with burials on Sunday morning, but sometimes it's a Friday night vigil with a Saturday burial. There is still a lot of death around here, and the HIV rate is still insanely high. I really don't like these kind of reminders.

After Grace and I left the garden store, we headed for the Mbabane Clinic. I felt our time was getting short, so I wanted to move faster. I put Grace on my shoulders and started walking; but between her increased height and size and my increasing age, this arrangement didn't really get us going any faster. She went back to her own foot power. Signs of the times.

KOMBIS, BUSES, AND FOOTPATHS
Monday March 8 was the first day of our school-wide monthly tests. None of my tests were being taken, and I only had to proctor one test. I had some books I wanted to return to friends in Manzini. Mr. Lukhele and I swapped proctoring responsibilities, and off I went!

The visit with friends was great, and I got back to Mbabane in good time to catch a mid-afternoon kombi back to the school. I boarded a kombi about 3PM and we headed out of town.

Unfortunately, a full-size bus had tried to come up the steep, narrow hill into Mbabane and couldn't make it. It had slipped backwards and turned sideways, so the road was blocked. Kombis were on either side of the blockage, so passengers headed for Dlangeni simply walked past the parked bus and got onto a kombi on the other side. They would then carry the passengers to their Dlangeni destinations.

Headmaster Magagula with his 4-door sedan was on the Dlangeni side of the blockage. After I had taken my seat in the Dlangeni-bound kombi, he waved to me to join him on the Mbabane side of the big bus. I hesitated, since I knew I could take this kombi home. But I assumed he was going to the school, and in the interest of cameraderie I left the kombi and met him.

Turns out he was only delivering a package to Mbabane via a taxi he had called. He thought I was trying to get to Manzini/Mbabane, while I thought he was going to the school.

Ah well, time for more travelling fun.

I took the taxi ride back into town, then found a kombi bound for Mbuluzi High School, which sits at the end of the paved road on the other way out to the school. I figured I'd get that far and hope for lifts from passing drivers until I reached the footpath to the school, then walk back to Nsukumbili. And, thanks be to God, that's how it turned out.

After taking to my feet after the brief kombi ride, I was praying "Father, I know it's not your 'job' to dispense fun and comfort to get me out of every mildly-tight spot. At the same time, I don't want to demonstrate a lack of faith dressed up as humility by not asking..." and before I finished the sentence, a pickup truck rolled up behind me. He gave me a lift about half the distance to the trailhead, another pickup covered the second half, and by 7PM I walked in the front door of the house. God is good, and I'm glad I live close enough to town that I can walk home in a pinch. And even though this was an unexpected way to return to school, that walk is always a delight.

SOCCER
The team is doing great! They tied 1-1 in their first game, and they won their second game (on Wed., March 10) 4-2 in Mbabane. They are playing with enthusiasm and more discipline than last year. One particularly talented player had the problem last year of dribbling too much; he has kicked that habit, and it has made the team much better. Another good player from last year has improved a great deal, and he also made a big difference. In two regular games and two friendlies, the team has scored 11 goals. This is exciting! They face Mbabane Central High School next Wednesday. This will be a real test, as some players on town high schools also play in Swaziland's professional league (boggles your American mind, doesn't it? Imagine Michael Jordan and David Robinson playing on your opponent's high school team). They will have to guard well when they are on defense (not something they are in the habit of doing), or Central might score a passle of goals on them. Still, if they can pull it together they might earn a tie or even a surprise win.

For whatever reason, even though I resigned from the coaching job, Mr. Khumalo and the new coach are open to input from me. I keep it limited and always express support for the team. I like it that way. I'm beginning to think I'm a much better supporting person than a leading person. We did host a team dinner on Tuesday afternoon, and it went very well. The living room was surprisingly clean afterward, given the number of people (over 20) in a 240 square foot room and the fact that every person had a cup of juice and a bowl of chili and salad. After watching the first half of a 2002 World Cup soccer game while downing chili, the starting lineup was announced and players were encouraged to make whatever comments they felt were appropriate. The guys were serious in their words; they were ready to play.

The next day, they were tied 1-1 at halftime and went down a goal early in the second half. But they didn't wilt, and scored 3 to seal the win. Two of the goals came from dead-ball situations. A "dead-ball situation" is when, either because the ball went out of bounds or a player was fouled, one team gets to kick the ball while opposing players must stand at least 10 yards away. Once the ball is kicked, action resumes. The two goals resulted when Mbeji took the kick and his half-brother Bheki put the ball in the goal with his head. The final goal was scored by S'dumo. Before the game, s'dumo was putting on his "shin guards": two portions of cardboard torn from a box he found laying beside the soccer field. Players are required to have shin guards, and S'dumo didn't have a regulation pair of them. I am reminded of a former coach of mine (Pete Plunkett, I think) who said sometimes a Reader's Digest ripped in half down the spine is all the shinguards you need. Now I know it's true.

NSUKUMHILLBILLY
Friday morning, Kit was fascinated looking at a watch in stopwatch mode resting on Ruth's (big) belly. When Cub starting playing with the watch, Kit cried "You're taking off my T.V.!"
Hillbilly

We have been discussing plans for where to stay in town after Chipmunk's birth. Grace, upon learning we will likely spend a few days in a hotel room overlooking the street, excitedly said "We can watch the cars go by. We could do that for 2 or 3 hours. We don't do that very often."
Hillbilly