Dear Family and Friends

A couple of years ago I [Ruth] had a rough time at Christmas. We were in Swaziland and needed to be in Mbabane on Christmas day for church. Since there is no transport early enough on Christmas Day, we had to go into town a couple days ahead of the 25th. We were having trouble finding a place to stay. We pondered staying at a hotel. I had visions of going from inn to inn looking for a place to stay. Finally, Sr. Beni, an Italian nun working in Swaziland since 1968, said that we could stay at a little guest room at the church. That room had no cooking facilities. I was faced with the prospect of Christmas away from extended family, away from my house, away from all Christmas food, and feeling isolated and unconnected, like I was begging for lodging. I was in a funk. But eventually I said, "Ruth, how many times in the States have you wished that you were more able to focus on the religious aspects of Christmas? How many complaints have you heard about the hecticness of the Christmas Season?" I decided then that we were going to have two radically different types of Christmas experiences. One would be when we returned to the US and had all of the traditional Christmas blessings--time with family, traditional meals, decorations, family customs, etc. The other would be a religiously focused ascetic celebration. We would fill our Christmas stockings with food you can eat without cooking and do stockings, attend church, and spend the afternoon having a picnic in the park if we didn't have anywhere else to go.

This year has been more of the latter type of Christmas and I have really enjoyed it as it has been; I've not wished we were somewhere else. We have been celebrating the Advent season and now look forward to entering the Christmas season. During Advent we have lit the Advent candles and read aloud the readings from the prophets, readings which focus on the hope of the coming Savior--hopes related to both Christ's first and second coming. The girls love lighting the candles and Jabu has this really cute puffing that she does to try to blow them out, so we let her do that at the end. We have a gold candle in the middle and that is our Christmas candle. We got to light it for the first time yesterday and will continue with all of the candles lit through the 12 days of Christmas.

We have books for each of our girls and Rudy and I wrote them Christmas letters. The older girls prepared for confession during Advent. Rudy Sr. (grandpa Poglitsh) sent us a great book to prepare children for confession with a list of questions related to the kinds of situations children face. I went through it with Grace and Faith. It was interesting. "Do I have trouble sharing my things?" Grace would say, "I don't know?" I would say, "Why don't you ask your sisters?" Faith and Kit would reply, "You don't have trouble with that." After such exchanges I sat wondering about all the arguments and disputes I hear on a daily basis. But over and over I was hearing my children affirm that they think that their sisters share, don't tease, and treat them well. So that was encouraging--I must remember their grievances longer than they do. But we were able to write up a list of things they did do and I was able to share experiences relating to my sin and the benefits of confessing it to others. It was Grace's first confession.

Years ago, I made simple Christmas stockings. The three older girls have them. They decided to "fancy them up" last week and were busy sewing on beads to make their names and to decorate the stockings.

On the 23rd we went to town. On the bus I realized that we had forgotten their stockings and were going to have to use plastic shopping bags for stockings. We hazarded a trip to the grocery store (Shoprite is busier the few days before Christmas than Times Square on New Year's Eve) to get food for the weekend and presents for the stockings. Close to Christmas, the lines go from the front of the store most of the way down the aisles to the back. But early on the 23rd they were still manageable. The food aisles were crowded. Helping (?) traffic flow was the fact that the store had narrowed the aisles by putting cases of Sodas on the floor on both sides of all of the aisles. Then there were employees pushing big carts for restocking the shelves as the food flowed out of the store. Interestingly, the toy aisle was empty. Rudy and I split up the girls and the teams ventured out. Grace and Faith wanted to get presents for the family this year. They know that Grandma Poglitsh shows love by giving gifts and their Mother doesn't show love that way. They have a little Grandma Poglitsh in them.

One of the things the girls like best about staying at the church is snail collection. The gardens are full of snails about the size of a 50 cent piece. It was raining on the afternoon of the 23rd, but they had a great time running around in the rain gathering a pan full of snails. We joked about cooking them up since the room now features a little two burner stove/toaster oven.

On the 24th, we had planned to take our girls and meet the Rugumambaju's, a Ugandan family with 4 young children, and go to the park but the rains continued all morning. The girls went to confession with Father G., a priest who had to flee his own country because priests were getting hauled off by government authorities and never being heard from again. He gave gifts to each of the girls. Grace, I, and Wiseman (a seminarian), had a nice time talking afterwards and sipping sodas. I started thinking about what it is like for our priests and sisters who are far from family and never get to spend Christmas with them.

By 1:00 the girls were going stir crazy in our room. We got a message from the Mubiru's that the roads were a mess and they probably wouldn't be able to pick us up and spend Christmas with us. I did briefly wonder if this Christmas would be a disaster for the girls. The rain let up and we decided to don rain jackets and go walking around town. We ended up at the park and the girls had a great time, even though things were wet. At 3:00 we went to the Rugumambaju's and they had a great time running around playing with their kids.

Christmas day was beautiful. We didn't know if we should make alternate plans or hope that the roads had dried. The roads had dried. We saw the Mubirus after the second service, they took us to the house of a friend of theirs and we had a Swazi Christmas meat fest. We roasted meat for about two hours--chicken, beef, pork, and two kinds of vors (like Italian sausage). I realized that Americans have a lot of sweet foods that they associate with Christmas. For Swazi's, Christmas dinner means meat.

Now we are home. It is the 26th. Some of the kids have transfered things from their plastic bag into their Christmas stocking. Grace just came us to me and said, "Now it is Christmas, so we get to have special foods. Faith and I are supposed to cook tonight so can we have Ramen [noodles]?" I love it that for the girls, Ramen noodles are a special food worthy of Christmas. I will go to town and we will get some other special foods, which we will spread out over 12 days. I think this Christmas will be memorable--just a very different set of memories.

Rudy is over at the homestead now--Make Silolo is wanting to do a little more planting. As she says, "Ayimali ingubo"--"There is no money in the blankets" [You have to get up early and work if you want to make a living.] Her green peppers are ready to sell. She'll have sweet corn ready for sale soon. She has peanuts and sweet potatoes also planted as well as maize for eating. If things go well, she will be able to make some money weeding for other people; that cash should keep the family fed until the other crops are harvested and sold. She is hoping that she will be back on her feet in 2012. We hope so. It has been painful to see a formerly prosperous farming homestead fall into poverty. We are grateful for the people who have helped her through this terrible year. It has been nice to see when the extended family has stepped in and really fulfilled its traditional role here of providing for and protecting those in need. It has been painful to see when people have taken advantage of her vulnerable position and made it worse. She started with a homestead where there was water and some fencing so she had something to work with. We have been able to provide some much needed emotional support and startup capital and we do hope with her that she is over the hump.

Hope you had a wonderful and memorable Advent and Christmas season. Ours was so pleasant that I hope to incorporate some of it into our family customs even after we return to the US.

Much love to you all,
Ruth Poglitsh

PS: Special Christmas Birthday greetings to Xolile Mubiru (December 24), Godfrey Mubiru and Carol Poglitsh (Dec 25), and Mary Prince (Dec 26).