FROM LAST TIME
Please find attached Single Lilly's article (the one Ruth responded to in the last newsletter) and a video of our "hillbilly 4 channel surround sound home theater"

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
One recent Saturday Cub and I went to Manzini for confession with Father Mikel. We discussed the fact that the next day was Trinity Sunday, the most difficult Sunday on which to preach as the Trinity is the most difficult aspect of Christianity to comprehend. I told Cub that "the most believing, most intelligent Christians of all time have had a hard time understanding this reality". I relayed this discussion to Father Mikel later in the day. Trinity Sunday was the third Sunday in June this year, and Father Maseko usually comes to the outstation church on the third Sunday. So even though I genuinely felt sorry for Father Mikel for having to deliver the homily on Trinity Sunday, I felt relief that at the outstation, Father Maseko would do the job.

Occasionally, however, Fr. Maseko can't make it. And this Sunday he didn't. And Make Khanyile asked if I would lead the service, which includes preaching. I had 20 minutes to come up with something to say on the most mind-bending teaching of the Christian church. Carumba! Someone at ECHO told Ruth years ago that missionaries have to be able to sing, preach, or die on a moment's notice. I got door #2 on this Sunday. I think it came out okay, though. If you'd like to read what I said, see the attached.

POLE VAULT
The school kitchen cooks students' food in huge cast iron pots over an open fire. To keep that fire stoked, students are asked about once a week to bring firewood. One day recently a student ran by (he was a little late for assembly) with his piece of firewood. It was half the height of the flagpole. He looked like a pole vaulter on his way to breaking a world record. We all got a laugh.

ANTICIPATION
On Saturday June 25th the USA Men's National Soccer Team played their Mexican counterparts in the Gold Cup. Winner enjoyed bragging rights in that fierce rivalry and a trip to the Confederation's Cup in Brazil in 2013. I wanted to watch that game. They played at 9PM on Saturday in Los Angeles; which is about 6 or 7 AM here in Swaziland on Sunday morning. I tried to contact MZ Dlamini, a teacher who gets the SuperSport3 channel-all soccer, all the time. A text message didn't get returned, and no one was at his house Friday or Saturday during the day. I assumed he was out, so I asked other homes if they had SuperSport3. They did not, but one teacher said he knew MZ was around.

So, at 6:30AM Sunday morning, I walked over to MZ's house. I could only imagine how excited he would be to have an unexpected visitor ask to sit in his living room on a cold Sunday morning and watch his tv for 90 minutes. But MZ was gracious, and we tried to find the game. SS3 didn't carry it. MZ expressed his condolences and I departed. Off we went to church.

But I had the cell phone with me, and since it can access the internet, I thought I could at least find the result that way. But the cell phone tower was not operating, so that was out. Later the cell phone tower came back online, but then I couldn't get onto the internet for some reason. I sent my dad an e-mail from the phone (that was working) and another friend in town a text message to please look up the result and tell me what it was. I got the answer Monday morning-a 4-2 victory for Mexico. I can't say the result was worth waiting for, but I do appreciate everyone's help in trying to let me watch the game and get the result. It reminded me also that the information highway isn't always paved perfectly smooth here in Africa.

SUCCESS! JABU SWEATS IT OUT
We have mentioned that no matter how warmly we dress our daughters in winter, we frequently get comments from Swazis about not dressing them warmly enough. On one jaunt in town recently I showed all the layers to a shop attendant; Jabu had on about 3. "Hawu, she's going to sweat in there!" This was music to my ears. A Swazi woman actually criticized me for having TOO MANY warm articles of clothes on one of our children. It's been 8 long years in coming, but such a comment finally arrived. Later on at home, Ruth said "Rudy, look at this!" She would push one of Jabu's arms down level with her body, and without Jabu making an effort, the arm would bounce back up because of all the clothes she had on. Many of you will remember Ralphie's brother in the movie "A Christmas Story" whose mom dressed him in so many layers he could not get off his back when he fell in the snow. Jabu was dressed similarly.

FIND ANOTHER FOOL
The form 1 students have begun discussing human sexuality and procreation in science class. I go light on the physiological details and heavy on the importance of saving sex for marriage and the benefits therein. I told the girls that if some sweet-talking boy with a 1-liter box of fruit juice and a two-piece KFC combo dinner in his hands and words of "Come here, Sweetie, I love you so much, let's go into the woods" they should say "Find another fool". In fact I wrote the phrase on the board and insisted the girls write it in their notebooks: Find another fool. "Any questions?" I asked. One boy raised his hand and said "But practice makes perfect", implying that one should have sex before marriage so that one can satisfy the spouse. Thank you, Menzi, for stepping into my crosshairs. You are the teachable moment for your colleagues on how not to conduct one's sexual life.

"Girls", I said, "Know now that you should avoid Menzi; his thinking is defective. In fact, let's try out that phrase you just wrote down. Turn around and look at him." They did. "On three, girls, use the phrase: 1, 2, 3: 'Find another fool'". The girls played right along; Menzi sustained a verbal bombardment of sexual non-consent. He smiled, but also looked like he wanted to sink through the floor. I related this incident to Ruth later that evening. She said it was good to give the girls an easy and direct phrase to use in a pinch, but the problem is that so many girls are starved for love and attention that is difficult to resist what looks like love. Message to you dads of daughters: show and explain to your girls what real care and love is, so that when they come up against Mr. "got some nice food for ya here in exchange for a trip to the woods", they can brush off the offer for the ludicrous counterfeit that it is.

After the sonic boom, I asked Menzi where he got the idea that one should practice sex before marriage. He said he got it from a book. I told him the book was wrong, and that he should bring that book. In a few minutes he produced a paperback entitled "Questions Young People Ask" by Bruce and Carol Britten. Bruce and Carol are Evangelical Protestant missionary friends of ours who have been in Swaziland for nearly 40 years. I couldn't believe Menzi claimed this book had the advice he attributed to it. I thought "I know the Brittens, and I know you won't find such advice in that book." Sure enough he didn't; QYPA is all about saving sex for marriage, and why. Menzi's copy was dirtied and dog-eared; the next day, I gave him a fresher copy.

Points for Menzi on stamina, though; he would not surrender the concept that pre-marital sex makes for better post-marital sex. I explained to him that he misunderstood sex. Sex is supposed to be the expression of love between a husband and a wife, not some sort of graded performance. He said that if the woman is not satisfied, she will leave and find another man. I said that marriages don't break up because the sex isn't good enough; they break up because the love isn't there, then the sex decreases in frequency, then one of the spouses goes looking for love elsewhere. I don't think he's convinced, but maybe some seeds of reality have been planted in the heads of the other students and they will avoid the insanity of pre-marital sex.

ABSALOM SIBANDZE'S HAPPY STORY
One recent Sunday a man picked us up in his car. We saw a boy in the road "driving" his own car, a vehicle made of scrap wire with a working steering wheel. Many pre-teen boys make such cars. I've seen one with a radio and working lights. I mentioned "Hey, there's another driver" to the man who gave us the lift. I asked him if he made those when he was a kid, and he said yes. In fact, he could ride on his (something like a skateboard, I guess). He explained that now he works on auto bodies for a living, and has all the work he wants. This Sunday he was supposed to be fixing somebody's car, but he wanted to take a day off. His uncle recognized early that Solomon he had an interest in cars, and encouraged him to pursue it. Absalom would work at body shops for very little money, but all along he knew he was gaining skills he could use to his profit later. Now is later, and he's doing very well. If only more people were to have elders giving them such good advice, and if only more young people were willing to put in the "sweat equity" to gain skills (if not big bucks) which pay off later! This story is a good one for Swazi youth these days, as so many of them dream of white collar government jobs which are vanishingly scarce and, in this economic climate, subject to pay cuts and eliminations. I need to pass this story on to the students.

Okay, I'm done. Hope you have a good day.

RUDY'S RESPONSE TO SINGLE LILLY
Here's another approach to her piece.
"My view of life...is very simple. Put simply, I believe that life is dolorously boring and hence has no meaning whatsoever".

So begins Single Lilly's opinion piece entitled "Teenage Abortion: Why It's Not So Bad". I suspect, however, that Ms. Lilly looks both ways before crossing the street and does not engage in drink-driving every Friday and Saturday night. Probably she eats three meals a day and does not juggle Homelite chainsaws while they are running. But if she really believes what she says, why wouldn't she close her eyes when crossing Gwamile on a busy Tuesday morning, or see just how many limb-dismembering Homelites she can keep in the air at once? Such actions certainly would relieve the boredom, and if they ended in her death, well, she's already said life has no meaning, so there'd be no loss.

In all likelihood Ms. Lilly engages in (and refrains from) a large number of behaviours which result in her continued survival and health. What we do always shows what we believe. We conclude, therefore, that Ms. Lilly believes life (hers at least) has enough meaning to act in ways intended to keep it going. Since Ms. Lilly's life is no more or less valuable than any other human life, let's see if abortion really is not so bad for the meaningful lives of women and children.

Ms. Lilly says "from what I've witnessed from close friends, abortion is usually a decision taken calmly, sanely and rationally". A couple of qualifiers deserve mention here. One, the women for whom abortion was a terrifying decision and experience probably aren't going to talk about it the way a sports fan talks about his favorite team or a young man talks about his new love. We naturally avoid discussion of events that hurt us. Consequently, Ms. Lilly has not heard much from the women for whom abortion was (and continues to be) a disaster. Two, the number of women Ms. Lilly has spoken to (specifically, her close friends) is relatively small, compared to all the women who undergo abortions. Her sample is not representative. What do representative surveys tell us about womens' experiences with abortion?

Dr. David Reardon of the Elliot Institute in America studies the effects of abortion on women. His website http://www.afterabortion.org contains oceans of research on the topic. Consider a few results of much larger surveys in Europe, Britain and the United States:
* 64% of women having abortions felt pressured by others.
* 52% felt rushed and 54% were not sure about the decision at the time.
* In a survey of women who sought help after abortion, 83% said they would have carried to term if they had received support from the baby’s father, their family, or other important people in their lives.
* 84% reported that they did not receive adequate counseling.
* 79% were not informed about available alternatives.
* 31% of women suffered health complications after abortion. 10% suffer immediate complications, one-fifth of which are life-threatening.
* Women have a 65% higher risk of clinical depression after abortion compared to women who give birth.
* 65% suffer multiple symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after abortion.
* Death rates from all causes are 3.5 times higher among women who abort, compared to women who give birth.
* 60% said “part of me died,” according to a survey of women who aborted.
* Suicide rates are 6 times higher for post-aborted women compared to women who give birth.

Clearly, the vast majority of women who undergo abortions suffer from them. Bearing in mind that we avoid discussion of painful experiences, the above results may under-represent the number of women injured through abortion.

The vast majority of us want to live rich and fulfilling lives. In our best moments, we also wish this for other people. Surveys of post-abortive women indicate that abortion is not the way to build those rich and fulfilling lives. Let us stand in solidarity and charity with women in crisis pregnancies; let us give them the love and support they need to take care of their unexpected children. The moms, the children, and we the helpers will all grow because of the experience.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com

Rudy for the gang